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Based on decades of laboratory research, this book identifies seven science-backed principles that distinguish marriages that thrive from those that fail, and gives couples concrete tools to strengthen their friendship and manage conflict.

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What it’s about

Drawing on more than forty years of observing thousands of couples in his 'Love Lab,' psychologist John Gottman overturns the conventional wisdom that better communication and conflict resolution are the keys to a happy marriage. Instead, he shows that lasting love rests on a deep friendship built through detailed knowledge of your partner, ongoing fondness and admiration, and a daily habit of turning toward each other in small moments. With the ability to predict divorce with over 90 percent accuracy, Gottman reveals the warning signs that doom relationships—harsh start-ups, the 'Four Horsemen' of criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling, flooding, and failed repair attempts—and offers seven practical, exercise-rich principles that help couples build trust, share power, solve their solvable problems, overcome gridlock rooted in hidden dreams, and create shared meaning. Whether your marriage is thriving or on the brink, this book gives you a proven, hopeful roadmap grounded in real science rather than opinion.

The through-line

Who it’s for
A partner in a committed relationship who wants a lasting, happy, emotionally connected marriage.
The problem
Recurring conflicts, emotional distance, and uncertainty about how to keep a marriage strong or rescue one in trouble. Feeling lonely, unappreciated, misunderstood, or fearful that the relationship is slipping away.
The plan
  1. Enhance your love maps by learning your partner's world.
  2. Nurture fondness and admiration to counter contempt.
  3. Turn toward each other in everyday bids for connection.
  4. Let your partner influence you and share power.
  5. Solve solvable problems with softened start-up, repair attempts, self-soothing, and compromise.
The payoff
A passionate, trusting friendship that buffers you through conflict and stress. · Longer, healthier lives and greater day-to-day happiness. · The ability to manage disagreements without them overwhelming the relationship.

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